Jumped Out of My Skin

This morning at 7 a.m. my phone buzzed telling me I had TWO text messages.  I never get texts at that hour.  And today is the day the Emir of Kuwait is supposed to show up in Iraq with PAPERS.  Iraq is nine hours ahead.  Dang, that Emir could have come and gone.  And I’ve got my phone listed with FIVE organizations to ALERT me when the RV is announced.  My eyes shot open.  My heart started pounding.  I grabbed the phone and found out it was only Sandy sending me a reminder before she went to work.  S**T!  Near heart attack for nothing.

Shabibi, Text Me, Man!

It got me thinking, however, what really WILL happen when the RV is announced? There are more than a million of us dinarmaniacs in the US alone, many with involved spouses and families – let’s say three million hopeful souls.  That means at least five million instant texts sent from various dinar sources, double that if they double up, maybe 15 million near heart attacks.  But that’s just the beginning.  50 million tearful prayers of thanks pour into Heaven.  Now the emails start to fly – everywhere.  Phone calls hit DinarTrade like a tsunami bigger than the one that slammed Japan.  Servers moan across the land and some give up.

Phones at banks all over America start ringing and don’t stop.  If you are one of those with a personal relationship with some bank president, you’ll be calling good old Joe RIGHT NOW.  Another three million calls to DinarTrade.  Their 5,000 phone lines are choked so you call again and again.  A million more calls to our Dinar Daddy.  Airlines are swamped with reservations to Belize. A caravan bigger than the Million Man March heads for Toledo.   People who were normal, good-hearted folk have now turned into crazed dinarmaniacs, anxious to cash in their 10,000% capital gain.  It’s a feeding frenzy, piranhas all tearing at the same pig.  For awhile

Two weeks later, the market for pleasure boats skyrockets.  Land prices rise.  The banks are flush with money as mortgages are paid off.  They’re making a fortune in spreads and wire transfer fees.  All kinds of unsold real estate goes under contract.  The stock market rockets up.   Businesses that have held off releasing new products or expansion pull the trigger while new businesses are launched.  Employment jumps.  O takes the credit and, now that we can afford it, invades Libya, making it the 51^st state.

One month after RV, we realize the US economy is saved.  Same for Europe.  China starts selling US debt to Kuwait.   Gasoline prices drop to $1.50 / gallon because the U.S. is trading dinars for oil, as agreed and, of course, we own Libya.  

Wait, didn’t my phone just buzz a few minutes ago?  I must have fallen back asleep.  What a delicious dream.