Jumped Out of My Skin

This morning at 7 a.m. my phone buzzed telling me I had TWO text messages.  I never get texts at that hour.  And today is the day the Emir of Kuwait is supposed to show up in Iraq with PAPERS.  Iraq is nine hours ahead.  Dang, that Emir could have come and gone.  And I’ve got my phone listed with FIVE organizations to ALERT me when the RV is announced.  My eyes shot open.  My heart started pounding.  I grabbed the phone and found out it was only Sandy sending me a reminder before she went to work.  S**T!  Near heart attack for nothing.

Shabibi, Text Me, Man!

It got me thinking, however, what really WILL happen when the RV is announced? There are more than a million of us dinarmaniacs in the US alone, many with involved spouses and families – let’s say three million hopeful souls.  That means at least five million instant texts sent from various dinar sources, double that if they double up, maybe 15 million near heart attacks.  But that’s just the beginning.  50 million tearful prayers of thanks pour into Heaven.  Now the emails start to fly – everywhere.  Phone calls hit DinarTrade like a tsunami bigger than the one that slammed Japan.  Servers moan across the land and some give up.

Phones at banks all over America start ringing and don’t stop.  If you are one of those with a personal relationship with some bank president, you’ll be calling good old Joe RIGHT NOW.  Another three million calls to DinarTrade.  Their 5,000 phone lines are choked so you call again and again.  A million more calls to our Dinar Daddy.  Airlines are swamped with reservations to Belize. A caravan bigger than the Million Man March heads for Toledo.   People who were normal, good-hearted folk have now turned into crazed dinarmaniacs, anxious to cash in their 10,000% capital gain.  It’s a feeding frenzy, piranhas all tearing at the same pig.  For awhile

Two weeks later, the market for pleasure boats skyrockets.  Land prices rise.  The banks are flush with money as mortgages are paid off.  They’re making a fortune in spreads and wire transfer fees.  All kinds of unsold real estate goes under contract.  The stock market rockets up.   Businesses that have held off releasing new products or expansion pull the trigger while new businesses are launched.  Employment jumps.  O takes the credit and, now that we can afford it, invades Libya, making it the 51^st state.

One month after RV, we realize the US economy is saved.  Same for Europe.  China starts selling US debt to Kuwait.   Gasoline prices drop to $1.50 / gallon because the U.S. is trading dinars for oil, as agreed and, of course, we own Libya.  

Wait, didn’t my phone just buzz a few minutes ago?  I must have fallen back asleep.  What a delicious dream.   

Discouragement Over RV Setting In

“What the (bleep) are you waiting for?”

“How hard can it be?

“Git ‘er Done!”

“These idiots are gonna blow the whole deal!”

Some Day The Cash Will Come...

Have you read these comments on the blogs?  Do you get the idea people are getting discouraged with the IQD investment?  Frankly, between the hype of the dinar sellers, the frequent “sure things” by the dinar rumorists and all the authoritative statements on the conference calls over the last year, people have become eerily quiet, like, they’ve given up.   Perhaps it’s finally settled in that we have no control and virtually zero accurate information about what is really going on – and we are beginning to feel pretty stupid about falling for the IQD story. 

There are some pretty smart, knowledgeable “git ‘er done” people in the IQD investment community.  You can tell from the posts.  The advice from most of them is, “it’s got to happen, all we have to do is wait.”  But for people who will lose their homes this month if it doesn’t happen, people who are champing at the bit to fund charitable projects, people who need funds to retire, and the guy who really wants to buy a big boat for his kids this summer, waiting is painful.

The real danger of delay is that Iraq will fall back into civil unrest, undoing most of the work, money and blood spent in creating a democracy.  It’s a very real possibility.  The final ministers aren’t ratified yet and the Parliament is talking about taking a TWO MONTH break from April to June.  Now is the time for Maliki to put the finishing touches on his government.  He is the man.  Let’s see if he’s got the guts.   Meanwhile,

“Maliki, we are waiting for you!!”

“…great, they are going backwards in democracy.”

Also meanwhile more food for disappointment… or is it???, “Mohammid my buddy for over 25 years working for B.S.I. inc. out of Baghdad said he just got the word to change computer chips in all B.S.I. vending machines throughout Baghdad and outlying cities no later than 17 MAR. He told me his Superior told him to hold his IQD also because it would soon be worth 2.77 US.”

Iraq Protesters “Days of Irritation”

"Oh, give me a home where the oil trucks roam"

You may have read about how much pressure “the people” were putting on their government on Friday February 25 with their “days of rage” protest.  Approximately 10,000 bored, hungry people showed up in eight cities carrying signs.  Out of more than 25 million citizens, 10,000 showed up.  Security forces shot a few because they were trying to burn down buildings and then they went home.  Yesterday, a few hundred came back to protest.  This doesn’t sound like much rage to me, more like “irritation.”

There’s no doubt people are pissed that the government is taking so long to provide services, but the gripe in Iraq is nothing like the gripes in Egypt, Tunisia or Libya where MILLIONS are truly enraged and thousands are dying for their cause. 

So, what’s going on here?  Are the Iraqis protesting just to be one of the gang?  Is this some kind of Maliki Theater to put pressure on the various factions, sects, caliphates, tribes and castes?  Or is it Allawi Theater to make life uncomfortable for the Maliki machine?   Or is it just some bored hungry people with sign boards.

One thing is clear.  The Iraqis have a lot less to gripe about than many of their neighbors.  And in the end, if Maliki ever gives the nation a tradeable currency, the protests will be few and far between. 

Watermelon Found!!!!

In an earlier post, we talked about the interesting language that comes out of the Google translation of Arabic. At that time, we often came across the term "watermelon" but could not come up with a reference.  Well, here's one found on February 12, 2011 in a news bit describing ministers approved by Parliament:

"The most prominent of the ministries that have been approved by the electricity that is assigned to the Iraqi List led by Iyad Allawi. The source added that the ministers who approved them, they thunder Falh Ani (electricity) and the good of God’s good Babiker (trade) and just Mhodr Maliki (Municipalities and Public Works) and the invocation Zaidi (women). The regulation also includes the ministers of state beauty watermelon (without portfolio) and Amer Khuzaie (National Reconciliation) and exotic Kazem (for civil society)."


Oh, yeah!  But... just who thunders Fahl Ani anyway?  And who came up with the title of God's good Babiker for the Minister of Trade? I pray to God the Minister of Parliament given Exotic Kazem is a woman.  And, here we're getting to the crux of the matter... just what kind of portfolio do you think might have been under the control of the Ministers of State Beauty Watermelon? 

Oh, now I see.

Disappointment in Maliki Runs Deep

Surely the RV would happen by the end of 2010, the blogs said.  Surely it would happen in January, they hoped when it didn’t.  And now that Maliki has let the Feb. 15 deadline pass without RV, disappointment has hit a new high.  Here are avatars of active people on the dinar investment fora and some of their thoughts:

“I’ve had it with those rag-hat, sand-pounding, camel-eating illegitimate sons of Abraham.  No two of them speak the same truth.  A contract means nothing.”

“The pressure is so great – from the Arab world, the IMF, the Joe Biden Band, banks, businesses with contracts, governments, investors and the 28 million Iraqi people who are starving – something’s gotta happen and if the GOI doesn’t act soon – with tangible results, everything done to date will fall apart in anger.

“Everybody’s wrong while the dinar pumpers get rich.”

“The thing that gets me is all these so-called sources on the conference calls.  They are so confident, they sound so connected.  Thousands of us thirst for their words.  The hosts bow and scrape in gratitude for the nuggets being shared but, in fact, they are as much in the dark as every other person who’s not Maliki.  It’s all smoke.”

“If we are disappointed, think how the Iraqi people must feel.  Many are starving.  Most are unemployed.  The natural Arab drive for commerce is being squelched because the currency is worthless.  Frustration, frustration, frustration.  The country remains isolated from the world because its currency is not tradeable.  And the babies die.  And the fields remain uncultivated.  And the oil waits underground.  And the ships in the harbor rust at their moorings, unloaded.”

And so we wait.